My friend, Susan Palwick, is an author, a lay minister, a volunteer chaplain, and (to my mind) a religious and social activist who lives what she preaches. She been posting recently about the WisCon she and her husband attended. One of her posts got 11 comments, among them one so filled with pain that Susan promised the commenter (anonymous-comment # 9) that she would respond with a post all on its own. She has done so and her response is wonderfully compassionate and absolutely worth reading, even if you haven't read the comment that generated it. Please go here to read "Dear Anonymous."
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Late yesterday my friends JS and her wife invited me to dinner at their place. This was a real treat because their lives are so busy that get-togethers are usually planned way in advance. It felt really special to be included at the last minute. This says something about the way I was raised because I've always gone out of my way to avoid intruding on friends' lives when they are busy. And here they were saying, "come on over," as if I lived just next door. (g)
The burgers were good. I got to see their back yard for the first time. They have a gazebo that I love. They are picking really fragrant flowering plants so I look forward to seeing how their yard progresses. I met a couple of the neighbor kids who popped in and out to play with theirs. But the best time was after dinner when we sat on the sofa and I got to hear all about their wedding and see the album. They really put a lot of thought and planning into it making every detail special. It was obvious that each detail meant something to both of them and both felt equally vested in the ceremony.
That wasn't the case with my marriage. My ex's aunt and I did most of the planning. My ex had veto power on things he didn't like. His feelings about the whole thing were, "I want to be married, I just don't want to GET married." What a difference!
I remember when my sister got married. She invited me to be her maid of honor. When she walked down the aisle she and her future husband had tears in their eyes. I remember dancing at a good friend's first wedding. We all had high hopes and joy for him and his bride. I didn't get to dance at his second wedding but I like that wife much better. He is happier now than I've ever seen him. My sister's in her second marriage now and happier too. So is JS.
It seems most of my friends have been through more than one marriage. Looking back on the joy I see in my friends' second marriages, I guess we really do learn from experience. I learned a lot from the breakup of mine. Since then, I've figured out some of the things I don't want in my next marriage. I've learned a bit about what really suits me and what's good for me in a relationship. I've learned what kind of constant work such unions take. Most importantly, I think, I've learned the need to remain a separate individual in my own right even in the midst of trying to grow together as a couple. So, when I get a view of a marriage such as I had last night, I want to drink it all in and ken from my friends' joy what it takes to make a strong, happy, and lasting relationship.
Friday, May 25, 2007
It's very strange, but also very adolescent, that when you want a student in the classroom they don't want to be there. Heck, they won't even stay in the building. But close school for the year ,send them out the door, and they won't leave! Instead, they keep sneaking back inside. That was the huge joke in Content Mastery Center (CMC) after we finished herding them outside. No matter how many times we closed the doors a steady string of individual students kept showing back up inside the building. The principal even rang the closing bell 12 minutes early. They just didn't want to leave.
Heck, neither did I. Sitting there in the room with my co-workers, I was filled with a huge muddled mess of emotions. I felt sad, happy, forward looking, angry, and very much wanted to cry all at the same time. I suspect I'll be sorting through those feelings for a bit. I was glad to see the year end. I didn't want to quit my job even though I had to in order to student teach in the fall. I will miss my co-workers. We've done a lot together and had some good/fun times and some not so good ones as we helped the kids work their way through the year. For some reason I haven't quite figured out yet, I was mad at the students for coming back inside. I found myself almost crying on the way to the car and again once I was in it. I did the same thing at the end of last year. That wasn't so much for the middle school I work in but for the elementary class I had done field experiences in. I'm beginning to think that once I'm certified and have my own classroom, investing in a paper products company that makes tissues might be a good idea.
So what do I do next? Well, I think I'll take it a week at a time. This first week I want to rest, relax, clean the house and get it better organized, and do some things for myself. Then I want to go talk to a temporary agency to see if they can put me to work for short jobs over the summer. I have a lot of reading to catch up on. Its been ages since I was able to haunt the public library just to find new SciFi to read. I think, even though it is supposed to be bad for your skin, that I should start working on a tan. I also want to start trying to get in a little walking. I seem to have put on a few pounds these last few months and my clothes are tighter than I like them. And lastly but maybe most importantly, I want to spend time at my church in the garden and also make time for blogging again.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
When I got home today an email was waiting for me with my final grade in the masters level course I took. I got an A. The PhD who taught the class had good things to say about my growth. That feels good!
From the score sheet the other professor gave us I know that I made an A in the undergraduate class too. That means I have another semester finished in which I made the Dean's Part-time Honors List. And of course my GPA will rise a bit. If I ever find the time to go back and work on a full masters I hope I can keep up the GPA I have maintained these last 5 semesters. It would feel really good to graduate with honors, especially since my early undergraduate performance was really bad. I never got kicked out of school but I kept a healthy status on the scholastic probation list. I think I was too young to appreciate what I was getting at the time. Now I'm not and this feels much better.
Yay! Time for chocolate and a reward!
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Yesterday I said I would wait for the lines to clear before seeing Spider-man 3. Well, that didn't happen (sheepish grin). Instead I found an excuse to drive past the theater and saw that there were no lines. So I went to see if the show was sold out and the cashier told me there were plenty of seats available. I guess advance ticket sales are not as popular as theaters would like. So I bought a ticket and ended up with a seat at the end of the best row in the house. Yay!
Spider-man 3 was great! I loved the interactions between him and his lady love. He grows so much emotionally during this story that it is heart warming. There is plenty of interaction around forgiveness too. Also the good vs. evil theme is mixed in with all of that. It is a wonderful movie and the best of the three.
The were two downsides to seeing it. The movie is a bit long, 2 hours 19 minutes. Theaters don't do intermissions anymore, so by the time it was ending I was frantic for a trip down the hall. So were quite a few other fans. Also, I don't like that it cost more to get a medium soda and one package of candy than it did to see the movie. This wasn't always the case. When I was a little girl you could see a movie for a quarter, soda was a dime, and a candy bar cost a nickel. Since my allowance was fifty cents this worked out well for me. I had money left over for the rest of the week. Even with inflation counted in today's prices are bad. So, I'm thinking that in the future I won't buy theater food. Their prices are plain old highway robbery and worse than the gas stations that have prime spots.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Spiderman3 has opened. While I couldn't make the midnight opening, I am a fan and hope to see it soon, but not before the lines have thinned a little. In the mean time, I got my dose of superhero trivia on beliefnet.com today. This website, about all kinds of faiths, has clips from the film, a review complete with spoilers, and a blog post on its pop culture & religious status. They also have a fun quiz on spirituality among the superheroes. I'm not a trivia know-it-all so I missed a few (got 7 out of 12 right). No surprise there, but I learned a fact or two taking the test. If you want to have some fun and take it yourself go here.
Hmmm...I wonder how my friends Susan and JSD would do? Tag!