My cup runneth over

If you didn't read the previous post this one might not make much sense. That post is the tribute I wrote in honor of my best friend who passed away last Sunday.

Outpourings of prayers and expressions of sympathy have filled my days for the past few. They truly help. One that surprised me was a sympathy card from a teacher I work with. Apparently she is on my prayer group list which was the only place I had mentioned it at work. I hadn't known. I felt really blessed by that surprise. People care. I've had others express sympathy even though they don't know me well and didn't know my friend. It is a blessing.

The process of mourning is new to me. That might sound strange coming from someone who has lost both sets of grandparents, an aunt, an uncle and a marriage. With the relatives I have a long history and can easily visualize them as having gone on an extended visit to heaven. I will see them when I get there. They are so set in my heart that they aren't really gone. The marriage was, I think, the pain of rejection and fear. This loss is different. This is the knowing that I can't reach out to someone easily. It feels somehow different although the symptoms are the same.

The question, "How are you doing?" has taken on a different connotation. A few times when people have reminded me by asking I've come close to tears. That probably made them uncomfortable. I wish it didn't. I am grateful for the times I cry. When I am at work I am busy focusing on someone besides myself. When I am at home and alone, I am scared to think about it too much. Crying about things that hurt is a way of starting the healing process. If you find yourself needing to express sympathy to a friend please don't be afraid to talk about their loss to them. It might be helping them. If they don't want to discuss it they can say so.

When I wrote my second post on this list I talked about my receiving the Holy Spirit. During that experience I learned the meaning of the scriptural phrase from Psalm 23, "...my cup runneth over." I am learning it again. God is putting reminders in my path that he is still active in my life even though I am mentally and emotionally absorbed with other things.

So to my friends and others who have expressed sympathy and extended comfort I want to say, "Thank you!" It is much appreciated and my cup runneth over because of your kindness.