Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The Almost Day

Sunday I missed church. All 3 sessions of it. I woke up stressed from struggles with student teaching. I decided I needed to work on lesson plans rather than go to the early service because I had plans on attending the later, 4:00 PM, dedication of our labyrinth. During the morning I did some lesson plan writing, tried to eat (somewhat unsuccessfully), and cleaned up my apartment. It is much less cluttered now.

There was supposed to be a new friend coming down from Austin to get together with me at the dedication but God had other plans. The friend called and canceled for the best of reasons, financial survival. And it turned out he was right to do so. God put in his path 2 jobs for the afternoon and he made some much needed cash from this. I'm thinking that God had other reasons for this too.

After the cancellation call from my new friend I took a nap. It was about 3 or 4 hours long. It didn't help with the stress but it did give me more energy to express it. I then called 3 people looking for support and was rewarded with responses on all counts. My friend JS's wife called and we chatted briefly but she is dealing with her own energy stuff thanks to a cold. I still appreciate her calling and listening for a bit. Thanks! My friend Jerry, a nurse, called and gave me a pep talk and some good advice. After his call I took an extra anti-anxiety pill, a hot bath, and a cup of tea. I was then able to finish working on the plans I had neglected for most of the day. That evening as I was getting into bed my sister returned my call too. She gave me some more good advice and loving emotional support. She has been where I am and knows how hard it is to grow in a situation you are having a hard time with.

Now that's a new, but echoing JS's, response to perseverance. It is indeed as hard as hell but I'm keeping on. I can't do anything else. To do less would be to admit and accept defeat. It's scary but sometimes I see bits of things I'm proud of. Now if only I could get that long vision to shine like those little moments of pride. :)

Peace & Hope everyone! And Thanks for the support my friends!

Oh, the reason I titled this The Almost Day is because everything I attempted "almost" got done...never completely finished but almost is still progress. It is also a bit of frustration with myself showing my own perfectionism. I really need to stop doing that. God has been showing me lessons against perfectionism for over a year now. Time to move one from that message. Ah well, changes come hard. :)


San said...

Lee, playing hooky for a day can be good for the soul. Is that how you spell it--hooky? And where does that word come from? Something I always meant to look up and didn't.

I'm so glad your sister and friends called. Those who take us as-is and know the things to say to encourage us are so precious. You are that kind of person yourself. You have a special gift. Remember that. And cut yourself more slack.

Hope your week is going better...

Lee said...

My days just got brighter San! Hopefully they will stay that way!

As to hooky...below is what I found on the web about it from Word Detective. Enjoy!

Incidentally, grownups call them "sick days."

Dear Word Detective: Do you know where the expression "playing hookie" came from? -- Cathy Friedmann, via the internet.

Now there's a term I haven't heard in a while -- "playing hookey" (or, as you spell it, hookie) definitely seems to have fallen into disuse. Today's school kids, who play hookey to an extent earlier generations would never have dared, usually call the practice "cutting." "Hookey" first appeared in print in 1848, although the term had probably been in common use among children long before then. The phrase "play hookey" seems to have been an American invention, and had a number of variations: in Boston, children who skipped school were "hooking jack."

"Hookey" (also spelled "hooky") apparently developed from the colloquial phrase "hooky-crooky" common in the early 19th century, which meant "dishonest or underhanded." The connection between the two phrases becomes clearer when we recall that to "play hookey" properly, one had to pretend to go to school. The child would head out the door at the proper time, schoolbooks in hand, and only when safely out of sight of home would the little nipper's true itinerary become evident.

Incidentally, simply because I know how this racket worked does not mean that I myself was a practitioner of "playing hookey." I adored school, and was heartbroken when, occasionally, an especially fine Spring day would cruelly rob me of the opportunity to watch filmstrips on Mesopotamian culture in sixth grade history class.

"Hooky-crooky," to return to our subject, came from "by hook or by crook," meaning "by any means or tactic, fair or foul." Although this phrase first occurs in print way back in 1380 and is still common today, no one is sure of what the hook and crook were. One theory is that while tenants on English manors were not allowed to cut trees for firewood, the lord of the manor permitted them to have all the branches they could pull down with a shepherd's crook or a curved knife on a pole called a "hook." It sounds like hard work to me. Personally, I'd rather just go to school.

San said...

Lee, so now the mystery is solved. Thank you!